TicTak's Joke Blog
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THE MOST RECENT JOKES ARE ON TOP!
British officials have ordered Paul McCartney to tear down a log cabin on his British estate because it doesn't fit with the landscaping. Especially after Ringo worked so hard dragging all the logs in.
When President Bush was asked how he ended up in a photograph with embattled lobbyist Jack Abramoff, the President said he's taken pictures with a lot of people, it doesn't mean he likes them. To prove his point he pulled out an 8 by 10 of him sitting on Al Gore's lap.
A TV version of the Brad Pitt film Mr. and Mrs. Smith is being developed. In order to be true to the film, the producers are searching for a name actor whose marriage was ruined by Angelina Jolie.
According to the latest figures, only 24 thousand American students are learning Chinese while 200 million Chinese students are studying English. This is because Chinese students who are coming to America want to be able to clearly ask if you want brown or white rice with your kung pao shrimp.
A team of experts and scientists from Malaysia have been brought together to hunt and capture the mythical Bigfoot. They hope to answer the age-old mystery, do big feet equal a giant Johnson.
Six of the top 20 shows in the current Nielsen ratings are celebrity driven shows like American Idol, Dancing With The Stars and Skating With Celebrities. CNN is trying to cash in by lining up several B-list stars for Celebrity State Of The Union Address.
Former Survivor winner Richard Hatch was found guilty of not paying taxes on his Survivor winnings and could face up to 13 years in prison. Hatch said that he can only hope the warden of the prison he ends up at is as dreamy as Jeff Probst.
Drug-using super model Kate Moss is writing her autobiography. The book will detail how she grew up in England, became a superstar, and the tough times she went through after her dog ate the slip of paper with her coke dealer's phone number on it.
A new CNN poll says that only 16% of Americans would vote for Hillary Clinton if she ran for president in 2008. The other 84% said they would vote for Hillary, but only if her running mate was a gay cowboy.
NASA says that 2005 was the warmest year in history. In fact, it was so warm it actually thawed out some of Simon Cowell's icy comments.
Senator Hillary Clinton attacked President Bush yesterday, saying Bush's reasons for eavesdropping on domestic phone calls were "strange" and "far-fetched." However, she does admit that installing a surveillance camera under Bill's Oval Office desk might have been a good idea.
Donald Trump is suing an author of a book called Trump Nation for five billion dollars because he said it contains lies about him. The biggest lie of all is the one that claimed Trump is a modest, humble businessman who shuns the spotlight and doesn't like to brag about his accomplishments.
A Florida college student is accusing actor Joe Pesci of punching him in the face after he took a picture of him in a store parking lot. Apparently Pesci didn't want any pictures of him to end up in The Enquirer that showed him in his new job as a shopping cart retriever.
A sex scene featuring a topless Katie Holmes was mysteriously missing from a screening of a new movie called Thank You For Smoking at the Sundance film festival. In its place was a scary three-minute rant by Tom Cruise claiming the audience was too glib to see his fiancee naked.
There's going to be a big-screen version of the 1980's TV series Magnum P.I. When original star Tom Selleck asked the studio if there was anything in it for him, a studio executive responded, "Yeah, a ticket to the premiere."
The WB and UPN television networks are merging to form one network called "CW," which means its programming will now double suck.
The department of defense spent $677 billion in 2005. It would have been $678 billion but they decided not to put the cup-holders in the tanks.
Scientists have confirmed that less sunlight is reaching the earth than it was five years ago. Scientists first discovered the problem when they noticed actor George Hamilton's tan went from a chestnut brown to a light mocha.
Actress Hillary Swank is saying that she wants to work things out with her husband, Chad Lowe, who she's currently separated from. In order for the couple to spend more time together Hillary is going to hire Chad as her driver.
Film critics Ebert and Roper have named Jessica Simpson the worst actress of 2005 for her performance in the Dukes of Hazzard. The producers of Dukes were originally going to hire Academy Award winning actor Anthony Hopkins to play Daisy Duke, but he didn't look as good in the cut-off denim shorts.
Steven Spielberg is reportedly furious that executives at Universal Pictures are promoting Brokeback Mountain more than they are promoting his film, Munich. Universal further infuriated Spielberg by asking if he could do an updated version of ET where the grown-up Elliot and the little alien become gay cowboys.
Federal officials who inspected Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch say the animals on the ranch are healthy and not being mistreated. In fact, they feel the animals are being pampered after seeing one zebra using a sun reflector with a mud pack and cucumbers on its eyes.
Russell Crowe has announced that he and his wife, Danielle, are expecting their second child. Russell says he loves being a dad and sometimes he and his two-year-old son Charles go into the backyard and toss the phone around.
Last night was the debut of Skating With Celebrities on Fox. Former child star Todd Bridges was on the show. I don't remember which celebrity he was skating with.
Next week, Stephen King's new book Cell, about demonic cell phones that cause insanity, arrives in bookstores. King is so interested in safety that the victims in his book all use hands-free demonic cell phone devices.
The fifth season of American Idol kicks off tonight. And to cross promote it with another Fox show, the first round of singers will have to belt out their tunes while ice skating with D-level celebrities.
A lot of rappers attended the weekend wedding ceremony of Eminem and his wife Kim Mathers. Unfortunately, an east aisle/west aisle rivalry took place in the church and 50 Cent ended up shooting the bouquet out of the air.
Michael Jackson may soon be hired as a consultant for a company in Bahrain that wants to build theme parks across the Middle East. The company did hesitate in hiring Michael when he filled out the job application and wrote "alleged boy fondler" under the previous employment portion.
Jim Carrey says he's drastically cut back on coffee because it keeps him awake. Of course, even he needs to drink at least seven cups of joe just to keep awake whenever The Majestic plays on cable.
A 1905 recording of the song "Yankee Doodle" has been entered into the Recording Academy Hall of Fame. Meanwhile, the 1977 adult film Yank My Doodle It's A Dandy has been inducted into the Adult Movie Hall of Fame.
Animal activists including Martha Stewart's daughter, Alexis, are now calling for the mayor of New York to ban horse and carriage rides on the streets of New York because of a recent accident between a horse and a car. The activists really care about the animals, but Martha Stewart's daughter wants the horses banned because her mom ruined a pair of Gucci boots when she stepped out of her limo -- right into a steamy pile of horse poo.
According to Italian researchers, having a TV in your bedroom greatly reduces your sex lie. Because nothing stops your arousal and passion quicker than watching Boston Legal out of the corner of your eye and seeing how bloated and wrinkled William Shatner has become.
A 20-year-old California Institute of Technology student set a new world's record Saturday by solving the Rubik's Cube in 11.13 seconds. Amazing, the kid can solve a Rubik's Cube in 11 seconds but he still fumbles around for an hour trying to unsnap a girl's bra.
Lindsay Lohan was spotted partying with her mother at a New York club late into the night over the weekend. You know what they say, "The family that parties together, is the family that will all end up in rehab together."
Eminem remarried his high school sweetheart and ex-wife. The couple wrote their own vows, and Eminem's were: "I'll love you forever, until the day I kill you, bitch." And well wishers threw re-fried rice. Till restraining orders due us part.
Nicole Richie and Steve-O from Jackass are reportedly dating. The couple have so much in common. Nicole battled bulimia and Steve-O enjoys making people throw up.
"Sopranos" creator David Chase announced that this season will be the last for the HBO hit. Unless, of course, somebody makes him an offer he can't refuse.
Babyshambles lead singer Pete Doherty, who had an on-off relationship with supermodel Kate Moss, has been arrested on suspicion of possessing illegal drugs -- just days after pleading guilty to possessing heroin and cocaine. Wow, it's like these two have some sort of competition to see who can get their name linked to cocaine in the press more.
Gwyneth Paltrow confirmed rumors that she is pregnant with a second child. Paltrow and her husband are reportedly considering a number of names, but they're going to try to find another one as dumb as Apple because they want their kids to have an equal chance of getting beaten up on the playground.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have reportedly decided to buck the Hollywood trend and give their unborn child a traditional name like William if it's a boy. With a name like that, I just hope he doesn't get picked on by all the other celebrity kids.
Laura Bush is on a four day speech-making trip to Africa. As President Bush's wife, she's used to communicating with people for whom English is a foreign language.
Amidst allegations of corruption, Congressman Bob Ney is stepping down from his House leadership post. Another Republican being dragged down under the weight of Jack Abramoff's envelope.
The number one movie is "Glory Road." Replacing "Hostel" which should have been named "GORY Road."
Gene Simmons of Kiss is promoting Indy League auto racing. So now Danica Patrick won't be the only one wearing makeup.
Joaquin Phoenix says he's having trouble meeting the right girl. Well, hang in there. For years, Ellen Degeneres had the same problem.
David Hasselhoff is divorcing his wife, and releasing a rap song. Those midlife crises can be vicious.
Paula Abdul's angry lecture to two Las Vegas hotel workers about their slow service led to their firing. Fellow "American Idol" judge Randy Jackson says he thought Paula's tirade was entirely appropriate but a bit "pitchy."
In Massachusetts a two-year-old was summoned for jury duty. Same-sex marriage, two-year-old jurors - Massachusetts has become a never-ending episode of "Jerry Springer."
In Croatia a lumberjack is complaining that since he received a woman's kidney he has lost interest in drinking with his buddies, but prefers housework and knitting. He also fights a constant urge to see "Brokeback Mountain" for the 37th time.
Eminem and his ex-wife Kim Mathers were remarried over the weekend in Rochester, Michigan. This means they have to hire extra help for their home office just to make sure their marriage certificates and divorce documents don't get mixed up and misfiled.
Samuel Alito has completed his grilling by the Senate Judiciary Committee. He survived grueling questions by Senators Ted Kennedy and Patrick Leahy. Now all he has to do is sing in front of Simon Cowell and he got the job.
According to the U.S. Census bureau, there are now 297 million residents of the United States. And not one of them thinks ABC's new Heather Graham sitcom is funny.
Actress Cynthia Watros, who stars as Libby on the TV show Lost, had her license suspended after being arrested for drunk driving in Hawaii. Watros is claiming her drunk driving was self- defense. She was desperately speeding away from a cast party where that fat guy Hurley kept hitting on her.
Actress Pamela Anderson wants the state of Kentucky to remove a giant bust of Colonel Sanders from its capital building, because KFC mistreats its chickens. Government officials said they would consider removing the Colonel Sanders bust, if Pamela would donate a replica of her giant bust to put it in its place.
The Pentagon is employing a "Chief Laughter Instructor" because laughing helps military families deal with loved ones serving in combat. I'm not sure he's necessary. Most military families laugh out loud every time President Bush gives his reasons for the war in Iraq.
Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon had a tracheotomy. And you wouldn't believe how many Al Quaida volunteered to cut the hole in his neck!
A report shows that airplane germs pose a real risk for fliers. I'm shocked, because my definition of sanitation is sharing a bathroom with 200 other people and peeing in a four-inch bowl while it's rocking at 30,000 feet.
The wife of Indianapolis Colt Nick Harper was charged with a battery when her husband's knee was sliced. What is it with football, knives and horses? This guy has his Colts and O.J. had his Bronco.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will name their child Dellen after Ellen Degeneres. And I think if they want to name the kid after a talk show host, they should call her Oprah Sofa Cruise.
Brad Pitt's ex's, Gwynetth Paltrow and Jennifer Anniston, deny that they have had recent phone conversations about Pitt. However, according to President Bush's tapes...
Courtney Love's 13-year-old daughter says she hates reading lies about her mother in the tabloids. For example, her mother has never done an entire plate of coke. It was a saucer.
Jessica Simpson was spotted with a black eye. She injured herself doing the work around the house Nick used to take care of. Here's a tip: before you open a bag of popcorn make sure ALL the kernels have popped.
Gwyneth Paltrow confirms she's pregnant with her second child. She named her first child Apple. I can't wait to see where on the food pyramid she gets the new baby's name. I guess in 60 years, she doesn't want big sister, Apple, to end up as a lonely Granny Smith.
In Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, a teenager stole a man's cellphone then made his getaway on horseback. I guess even Amish parents have trouble with their kids.
A self-proclaimed vampire is running for governor of Minnesota. Well, that should finally take some of the embarrassment away from California.
Scientists in Taiwan are reportedly breeding pigs that glow in the dark. Finally, Ted Kennedy can find a midnight snack without groping around in the dark kitchen.
According to a new study, two thirds of overweight Americans are okay with being overweight. The other third couldn't respond to the poll question because their mouths were full of Twinkies.
Several college libraries with rare book collections actually have antique books dating back 500 years that are bound in human skin. The books require a lot of attention including daily moisturizing and exfoliating.
An engaged couple has put themselves and their family up for lease on eBay to work as a rich person's private staff to do everything from cooking, to auto service, to landscaping. If this family ends up getting hired the next family to put themselves up on eBay will be the out of work Baldwin brothers.
Dr. Phil has made a deal with Match.com to offer relationship advice to members for an extra $12.99 a month. This added job means that Dr. Phil is now so busy that even his wife has to e-mail him through Match.com to schedule a dinner.
Film critic Gene Shalit has apologized to a gay and lesbian group who took offense when he called Jake Gyllenhaal's character in Brokeback Mountain a sexual predator. However, Shalit has refuses to apologize for looking like a cat/human hybrid.
According to People magazine, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are expecting a child. Angelina was delightfully surprised that she could conceive her own children and once she found out she immediately made arrangements to send the adopted ones back.
The legendary Aston Martin that Sean Connery drove in the James Bond movie Goldfinger is going up for auction and is expected to fetch $2.5 million. The price skyrocketed after they found a bottle of toupee glue that Connery had autographed in the glove compartment.
As of yesterday, Seattle has had 24 consecutive days of rain. I don't want to suggest they're panicking up there but I hear Bill Gates is spending millions to build a state-of-the art ark.
Steven Spielberg's movie Munich may be shut out of the British academy awards because a blank DVD was sent to the academy by mistake. Academy members say the blank disc was still better than sitting through Yours, Mine And Ours.
Lindsay Lohan says she was misquoted by Vanity Fair magaine, which wrote that she said she suffers from bulimia. Lindsay said the whole fiasco has made her so upset she ate a gallon of chocolate fudge before throwing it up.
According to a new poll, 31% of adults say that if they were given an extra thousand dollars they would save it instead of spend it. Meanwhile, Lindsay Lohan said she would use the money to buy an very expensive dinner at a fancy restaurant and then throw it up into a doggy bag.
Levi's has announced they're making new jeans that have a special pocket for your iPod. Let's hope this is more successful than the giant boom box pocket jeans they created in the 1970s.
Two-time Oscar winner Hillary Swank and her husband, little-known actor Chad Lowe, are separating after eight years of marriage. The last straw came when Chad had to go through Hillary's manager, agent, publicist, and assistant to schedule their next argument.
The American College of Chest Physicians says that over-the-counter cough medications don't actually work. The chest physicians leaked this story to the press when the cough syrup manufacturers didn't cough up their monthly envelope of hush money.
U.S. custom officials have admitted that they've been instructed by the government to open the personal mail of suspicious people as part of the fight against terrorism. By opening mail, officials can tell which potential terrorists are getting zero percent financing on balance transfers on new credit cards.
The NFL says it will no longer air ads for the erectile dysfunction drug Levitra. NFL officials made the decision when they found out their TV audience dropped after a Levitra ad aired, because guys were grabbing their wives during halftime and running into the bedroom for a "quickie."
The decomposed body of a woman who died in her Cincinnati apartment back in 2003, after telling family members she didn't want to be buried, was recently discovered sitting in a chair in front of her television, which was still on. Luckily, she was dead or else she would have been watching that lousy Freddie Prinze Jr. sit-com.
Korea is now admitting that they lied when they cloned a human embryo. However they're insisting that they did not lie when they said the Schnauzer they cloned was delicious.
A rumor is circulating that there's a new sex tape on the Internet that may feature Ashlee Simpson. Experts who have examined the tape say that they believe it is Ashlee because the girl on the video is lip-syncing her moans.
Despite the gay subject matter, Brokeback Mountain has become a big date movie with millions of women bringing their male partners. Women like the romance and men like to point out that if Heath Ledger doesn't have to shave before kissing someone passionately why is she always complaining about beard rash.
Child star Macaulay Culkin has written an autobiography saying that he often contemplated suicide while he was a child. Unfortunately, he was home alone during the suicidal thoughts and after tying the noose around his neck there was nobody there to kick the chair out from under him.
On the new version of Survivor, which debuts February 2nd, each episode a contestant will be banished to a deserted island where they will have to fend for themselves. The castaways will only be given the essentials: rice, water and daily Brad and Angelina updates.
Michael Jackson is being sued by a Santa Barbara veterinarian who claims he's owed $100,000 for taking care of the animals in his zoo. Let's face it, giving a llama a nose job to make it look more like Macaulay Culkin is expensive.
Simon Cowell will produce a new talent show that will pair celebrities with professional singers as they perform duets in front of judges. Taping of the pilot had to be postponed when Tom Sizemore kicked the snot out of Cowell after Simon called his singing "dreadful."
A movie theater in Utah abruptly cancelled plans to show Brokeback Mountain. not because the cowboys are gay but because they offended hard line Mormons by having only one wife each.
Chicago has overtaken Houston as the fattest city in the United States according to Men's Fitness magazine. You know what that means, Oprah must be snacking again.
... The residents in Chicago are so fat that their idea of exercise is lifting a heavy deep dish pizza.
Nick Lachey tells Elle magazine that he used to walk around in his wives shoes at home as part of a kinky game they played. What's ironic is these are the same shoes that Jessica used to kick him out of the house.
Tabloids are reporting that Sylvester Stallone was knocked unconscious while filming a boxing scene for Rocky 6 in Las Vegas.Apparently it wasn't the blow to the jaw that floored him, Stallone reportedly fainted after hearing the bad dialogue he wrote coming out of an actor's mouth.
Scientists are saying that the common house cat has ancestors that date back 10 million years. Scientists believe the primitive cats from 10 million years ago used to chase another primitive beast called the "mouse-asaurus."
Since the fall of Saddam Hussein, more and more Iraqis are online looking up Web sites at Internet Cafes. A lot of them look up old friends from the Hussein days on the site "Cellmates.com"
The Gap is reporting some of their lowest sales this holiday season. Apparently, their loose-fit and relaxed fit jeans aren't selling to overweight consumers, so now they're coming out with "Butt the size of Cleveland" fit jeans.
A new NBC series called The Book of Daniel, which features Jesus Christ as a supporting character, has caused an uproar. One affiliate station in Indiana has even refused to air the show. It's never good to make the son of God the wacky neighbor with two hot female roommates.
Paris Hilton is being sued for allegedly spreading vicious lies about diamond heiress Zeta Graff, who used to date her fiance Paris Latsis. Paris admits that she did badmouth Graff, but that's because she ran out of skinny slut jokes to make about Nicole Richie.
According to researchers at the Canadian Medical Association Journal, giving free drinks to homeless alcoholics may help them stay alive. Apparently it's easier to mix a martini than to spend all day finding them food, blankets, and jobs.
A new bus tour of New Orleans that takes you through areas devastated by Hurricane Katrina is selling out. It's the most popular disaster bus tour since the one that tours the locations and sets of Jennifer Aniston's last three movies.
British police want Kate Moss to return to England so they can interrogate her about her drug use. Moss says she'll make plans to leave Los Angeles as soon as the nose candy stops flowing like wine.
Donald Trump's representatives say that Trump may soon put his name on a line of household furniture and bed and bath products. These are real specialty products. For example, the Donald Trump pillow has special supports to keep your top heavy comb-over from sinking too low.
Lindsay Lohan has admitted in a Vanity Fair article that she has an eating disorder, she's used drugs, and she had an emotional breakdown over her failed relationship. Which means on the set of Lindsay's last movie, Herbie wasn't the only thing that was fully loaded.
... Lindsay reveals so many problems in the Vanity Fair article that even Courtney Love thinks she's a whack job.
Ted Koppel and his former Nightline staff have joined the Discovery Channel to make news documentaries. The first documentary will focus on the complicated process it takes to style Koppel's hair from construction blueprint to final hair spray spritz.
Another sequel to Ocean's 11 is in the works called Ocean's 13. The 13 stands for the amount of writers they'll need to come up with a plausible story line to merit another sequel.
Queen Latifa received the 2,298th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday. This makes Queen Latifa the 2,198th star who didn't deserve it.
Former Who guitarist Pete Townshend is warning iPod users that years of using headphones has ruined his hearing. The real drawback for Townshend is that his hearing is so bad that he can't hear the police sirens blaring when he's on his computer illegally downloading kiddie porn.
Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards are apparently divorcing again after reconciling temporarily in November. Their relationship is on and off more than Paris Hilton's underwear.
...The end finally came for Denise when Charlie showed up at their anniversary dinner with a date.
According to Miriam Webster, the top word looked up on their online dictionary in 20005 was "integrity." Most of the searches came from the White House because the folks there are still trying to figure out what that word means.
Seven NFL coaches were canned over the weekend and insiders say there may be more firings in the days ahead. There hasn't been a mass dismissal like this since Martha Stewart fired her entire household staff after finding an entree fork in the tray where she only keeps salad forks.
Former Washington Mayor Marion Barry was robbed at gunpoint on Monday at his apartment. It was kind of a bitter sweet reunion. The muggers were the guys who used to sell Barry his crack.
Donald Trump is denying rumors that he's running for Governor of New York. This leaves the field wide open for another run for New York Governor by the TV actor who played Grandpa Munster.
Researchers in Vienna, Austria say they a found what they believe to be is Mozart's skull. They're not sure if it's real because when you clap your hands together the skull's jaw moves up and down while it sings "Monster Mash."
There have been several Bigfoot sightings in Malaysia. A 10-foot-tall ape has been spotted by several witnesses in Malaysia's southern rainforests. It's either the legendary mythical beast or a man in a rubber monkey suit sent by Universal to strum up interest in King Kong which is opening at the Kuala Lumpur twinplex.
Critics say that President Bush will be facing a difficult time ahead as he enters his sixth year at the White House. This is because he's still dealing with the Iraq war, the domestic spying scandal, and he rarely makes staff meetings because they're always scheduled at the same time the Cartoon Network shows reruns of Scooby Doo.
Dick Clark made a courageous return to New Year's Rockin' Eve. Viewers knew Clark was still recovering from his stroke, not because he was slurring, but because he said "Kevin Federline" and "superstar" in the same sentence.
The Tournament of Roses Parade was held in the rain for the first time since 1955. The parade was the wettest thing over the New Year's holiday other than Dick Clark's Depends.
The new Jennifer Aniston comedy Rumor Has It bombed at the box office over the weekend, taking in only seven million dollars. Rumor has it no one wants Jennifer Anniston to star in their movies anymore...
...Since Shirley MacLaine is also in Rumor Has It and it only made seven million, that means even her thousands of previous lives didn't go see it.
Singing legend Tom Jones has been made a Knight of the British Empire and will now be known as "Sir Tom." Even at 65, Jones is still so sexy that Queen Elizabeth threw her panties at him during the ceremony.
The German newspaper Der Spiegel is reporting that the United States has plans to attack Iran later this year. Which means President Bush will break his New Years resolution of not invading any more countries.
According to researchers at Kansas State University, a sincere compliment about a woman's appearance is the best way to make a woman feel good about herself. So the next time you bump into a baggy-eyed, unwashed Courtney Love, at least try to compliment her shoes.
A British airline made an emergency landing on a tiny North African island last week so they could drop off a passenger because he became drunk and unruly. They didn't leave the guy totally stranded. They left him a tiny pillow, unusable ear phones and a small bag of peanuts.
A police officer in Freemont, California was attacked last week by a tiny pack of yapping Chihuahuas. The officer had to be hospitalized for several ankle bites and acute embarrassment. From now on whenever he goes out on patrol he'll be wearing a Chihuahua-proof vest.
The Rolling Stones has set a new world's record for the highest grossing tour of all time with $162 million in ticket sales. $100 million goes to the band and the other $62 million cover the costs of Keith Richards daily face crease spackling.
A rumor is circulating that Donald Trump may run for Governor of New York. Trump says he wants to lower taxes, improve the city's infrastructure and most importantly, turn Central Park into a giant outdoor casino with the loosest slots on the East Coast.
...Trump also wants to turn the statue of liberty's crown and torch into million dollar penthouse condos.
The phrase "jump the couch" inspired by Tom Cruise's appearance on Oprah has been named slang phrase of the year. Cruise immediately issued a statement saying these people don't know slang, they were being glib and that slang was being used as a street drug.
FEBRUARY 1, 2005
Miss Dorothy, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
"Miss Dorothy", he said. "I wonder if you would tell me about this?"........... pointing to the bowl. "Oh, yes," she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had a cold all winter!"
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